News - and What We Don't Read or Hear on the Tape at Eleven.

I’m often sent news articles by friends from a local paper somewhere in the United States or around the world with a ‘news report’ about a sexual assault or some other form of relationship violence. Sometimes these things come over a listserv. I read them but I am also pretty frustrated with what I most often see in the paper.

I’m sure as I continue to develop this blog I will put a few ‘news’ items up here with my thoughts – today however I think want to express my frustrations with the reporting of sexual and relationship violence issues.

Let’s stick to sexual assault and the media today (there a lot to say on this and this entry needs some kind of boundary). Too often what the press 'knows' isn’t what really happened. The press may have a smattering of information, real facts or real details, but the whole story is never there. And for me 'who did what to whom,' while perhaps of interest, isn’t helping end the system of violence against women found in our culture.

Remember as you read this that I’m a male – and I want to be clear that I am male who does not suffer from some form of ‘male guilt’ about assault and relationship violence issues – that’s not why I do what I do, or write what I write. I’m simply a guy who happens to work with an issue that is too often misunderstood and misreported – and I’d like to aid in adding some clarity to the issue. With that said, let’s continue:

What isn’t reported when there is a sexual assault is that we live in a culture that permits sexual assault. In America we have a culture that gives privilege to men. Women as a group, while making great strides toward equality over the past 100 years, are still not in a place of equality in our society. If you doubt that, look to the hard numbers – women still earn less than men (check out this link: http://www.iwpr.org/pdf/Updated2006_C350.pdf) - in 2006 women are still earning less than men! And we all know money is power.

Now I don’t mean to reduce the issue of wage disparity to a sound bite – I know (as the GAO report explores) that there are many factors that influence an individuals pay and I’ve heard many arguments about what allows for this wage disparity exists. The point that seems to be repeated in every report I've read is women are treated in a manner as to be less than equal and men are given power greater than thier female counterparts (in this case power is represented by money, money is power). And the problem with power is that it is too often and too easily 'misused'.

When I look at toys for young girls and boys I find another example of our cultural that works to disadvantage women. This is a generalization (and again I fear another silp into a sound bite) but girls get dolls and girls are taught to nurture (not that this is a bad thing) while boys get Star Wars figures and boys are taught to battle the evil forces (again, not a bad thing in itself). As a culture, however, we tend to not reward the nurturer. Showing care for another isn’t part of the “go get 'em” culture I’ve seen rewarded in the workplace. We don’t seem to value authentic caring and so we don’t reward acts of caring – we do seem to value the “go get 'em” culture and in turn we reward acts that are in line with "go get 'em" (in my example that reward is seen in who earns more money and, remember, money equals power).

So how does this all fit the discussion about how the media reports on sexual assault?

I have never seen a newspaper article explore the responsibility we share in an assault, our culture, the society we support and participate in; I’ve never seen my local paper run a ‘news’ article exploring the idea that we are setting up an imbalance between women and men from those very early childhood days that sets the stage for one group (most often men) to have the ability to believe they can take control or power-over another (most often women). I've never seen an article in my local paper tease out the power issues in our society that mirror the power and control dynamics of a sexual assault. If we can treat someone as less than in the open, in the boardroom, it too easy to do the same and worse elsewhere.

I’m not saying that there is a direct one-to-one relationship between playing with dolls and Star Wars figures to a sexual assault. “Because she played with Barbie and he played with an X-Wing fighter means he raped her” – no, I don’t think like that. What I am saying is that I believe the former (the culture and cultural messaging) contributes to a society that allows the latter (sexual assault). I never read ‘news analysis’ that explores this link.

I’ve read about car accidents where there was an investigation into the factors that make that particular intersection dangerous. “Hey, everyone, dangerous intersection! Cars crashing! Blind spot. We need traffic lights! We need signs! We need to fix that!” We’ll address the factors that contribute to car wrecks in that story. And hopefully the problem will be fixed.

Sexual assaults happen every day but we won't stop sexual assaults until we address the factors which contribute to that crime. We need that conversation and I'm not hearing it in the media. We live at the dangerous intersection everyday and we need to fix that!

What I read and hear too often in a sexual assault story is “he said, she said” – and that’s getting us nowhere. I’m a prevention education specialist – you know what I would like to see in the paper: nothing. No news about sexual assault, no mischaracterization of the issue, no misreporting and no ‘duck and cover’ from the accountability we all share when an assault happens. I’d like there to be no sexual assault news because there is nothing to report on – because no one attacked another person – it didn’t happen.

We can make that happen. But we need to look at why sexual assaults are happening and address those factors. We can't fix the problem if we don't know what the problem is.